Precious Gifts
by Petra Megami Assari
Summary: Shonenai. What if Relena weren't as stupid as she appears? What if she knew Heero better than anyone thought? Relena thinks one night on what she did during the war and her reasons... reasons which may surprise you.


Petra: This is a small fic that teased my mind, damanding that I write it or pay the consequences. Seeing as how I was sick and in bed anyways, I figured it wouldn't hurt to write it.   
Kati: I must credit the story 'Smoke' by Emmy and 'The Games We Play' by Keelywolfe, neither of which are graphic for those of you who care but are both wonderful stories by two *very* talented authors.  
Petra: Though I must admit, I've found that it's pratically impossible to find stories that's aren't graphic which brings me to a point. Why do they always go and have sex the first date/as soon as they admit their feelings? Frankly, I find it vaguely disturbing. I'm not saying the stories aren't good, in fact some of the best stories I've read have been graphic. Why, though, do they always have sex? Is that the only way they can get together? I guess I can, slightly, understand the 'we might die tomorrow' philosophy but not all the stories have them in the war. Does anyone else find this slightly disturbing? I don't know, maybe I'm just weird. Well, anyways, reading and review. Remember, if you review you will be worshipped and praised beyond measure. Love you all!  
  
DEDICATED: To love, in all its different shapes.   
WARNING: Relena POV, slight angst (but if it's Relena's, do we care? Nope!) ^_-  
DISCLAIMER: I wish I did, but I don't. Heero, Duo, and Relena are only there for my pleasure to torment... most especially Relena! ^_-  
  
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Precious Gifts  
  
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." -Winston Churchill  
  
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I always knew when you fell in love you would fall fast and hard. You always did everything fast and with everything in you; so, I guess that's the way I always pictured you falling in love. I guess I was stupid to believe that you were going to fall in love with me. That's right 'fall' not 'fallen'; I may be blind sometimes but I'm not an idiot. I knew you didn't love me because I knew how you would fall in love. I thought that you were going to, though. I thought that it was only a matter of time, that any day you would suddenly look at me and "BAM!" fall. I was blind to the fact that if you hadn't already, you never would. Maybe I blinded myself on purpose. Who knows? I don't, not anymore.   
  
I thought I was so smart, to have you all figured out already. I thought wrong. I wanted you to love me, though. I needed someone in this world to love me for me, not for whose daughter I was or what I did; for me and only me. At the time it had seemed like you were the only who could do so because you so blatantly didn't care about who I was. At that time, also, I wanted to be you. I didn't want to feel or show emotion; I wanted you to teach me how to step back and look at humanity as though it were beneath me, the way you always seemed to. In the end, I learned, no one can do that; in the end, even you realized that you couldn't do that.  
  
I know you didn't love him the moment you saw him. You can't fall in love with someone who just shot you, but I know you saw in him a kindred soul. I don't know why, exactly, he rescued you. I don't think you do either. I'm sure if you asked he would tell you, but why drag up the past? It was shortly afterwards that you fell, though, and I don't know if you realized it or not. It took you a long time to realize that you were in love with him. Maybe you were just lying to yourself. Do you remember when I came to the school after you, and he commented that I was crazy for coming after you when you wanted to kill me? As he said so he touched you, just barely and so familiarly that most people wouldn't even have noticed, but I did. I noticed because I know you better than you think, than you would like to think. You didn't flinch or tense, which is something I know you do, and, I realized right then, that you were in love with him. For a long moment I wanted to demand why… until I realized that you didn't even realize it yet. So I let you walk past.   
  
I kept following you; I was going to demand to know why you had fallen in love with him instead of me. Every time I saw you, though, I couldn't make myself ask you. You must have thought I was an obsessive idiot; I know he did, he told me so. Duo always was open and to the point, I guess it that's why it surprised me to learn that he was different in how he loved. Not like you, Heero. He fell hard, just like you, but he fell slowly and I think that you realized you loved him before he realized he loved you. He fought too. You didn't think I knew? I did. I saw it in the way he talked to you, touched you, and watched you. He was fighting. I wondered for a long time why he was fighting when I would have jumped at the chance to have your love. So I began to watch him, trying to figure him out… and in the process I fell in love with him. It wasn't the same type of love as it was with you, but I don't think it's possible to ever love two different people in the same way. I fell in love with you both and you fell in love with each other. Irony is strange thing…  
  
Then I followed you because I cared about you both; I wanted to make sure that your relationship went as well as it could. You never did realize how truly frustrating it was to watch you two. I tried to help but Duo's not one to let his real emotions out easily; it took a lot of hard work. You never did realize I had a hand in getting you two together, did you? Duo knew, because I talked to him. I told him that he was being a fool to try and run from something that most people, including me, would die for a chance to hold for even one moment. I told him what an idiot he was being. He replied that I was the one being the idiot. Then, as he was trying to leave, I told him that he was the one who wasn't being honest with himself. That stopped him, Duo may be truthful, but truth and honesty are two different things. Truth can be the truth without having all the details, but honesty is a completely different thing. For a moment he simply stood there, his back to me, and then he turned to me and told me that he had always admitted it, he just wasn't ready to give into it. He laughed, rather sadly, and then was gone.   
  
Over the years I have gotten to know you both so much better. I find that knowing you this way makes me love you even more. I hope, one day, that I can find someone who will have the same relationship with me as you and Duo have. It hurts a lot, though, to realize that I love two people and neither of them will love me the way I want them to. The glimpses of the real you that I get to see amidst the stone and smiles are worth all the trouble and pain, though. Whether you realized it or not, they are gifts. Gifts that I keep tucked away for a rainy day, gifts that I hold close to my heart, right next to the love I have for you both. I may not be able to show my love for you, but I can show my gratitude. Thank you, for all that you have taught me. Thank you for these precious gifts.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: If you liked this go read my story, 'If You Could' and, yes, I shamlessly self-promote myself.   
Kati: Anyways, so what'd you think?   
Petra: This was an interesting foray for me, because when the show started I liked Relena, then hated her, then was indifferent, and now I find that I have this weird love and/or hate thing going on. Okay, if any information was wrong I'm sorry but I haven't seen the series in forever and most of the stuff I write doesn't happen with the actual series, just to the characters. Thus, it was really hard for me to remember what happened and, if you did find something wrong, let's call it artistic lisence. Okay? Great!   
Kati: Thanks for your reviews! --- Hint! Hint! Hint!!!!  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


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